I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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