i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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