He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
