She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
