At least make sure they are 18
Why
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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