I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
