I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
