Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
