so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
no more duck duck goose at the bar
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
