Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
