ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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