dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
