She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I skipped work to stalk him.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
