No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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