I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize