she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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