I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Ketchup is God's man juice
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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