i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize