I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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