i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
