i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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