Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
