He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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