she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
