I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
