she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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