I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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