Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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