I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
