Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
