i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
