He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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