the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
