Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
