you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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