But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
