I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
