well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize