she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
