I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
