I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
