her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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