in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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