all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
