he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize