Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
