Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
