how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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