Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize