Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
