I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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