He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
