doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Did I show you my penis last night?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
