we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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