so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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