Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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