sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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