ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
