i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
