he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
