Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
