Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
