Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
