yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
