Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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