there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
